Do you have any really random pop culture moments stuck in your head from more than a decade ago? I do.
Honestly, my brain is mostly a mish-mash of Anne Sexton poetry, random facts about animals, and Us Weekly headlines from 2003.
Among the pop culture lexicon in my head is a phrase that I first heard on season 17 of The Bachelor, when star Sean Lowe asked the woman he chose (Catherine Giudici) how she envisioned their wedding. “Grown Sexy,” she said.
Chris Harrison, then the host of the ABC franchise, told E! at the time: "I don't understand it. I understand it about as much as Sean does. But Sean is smart and I went through this as well, when your bride-to-be says she wants something or gives you a theme, you shake your head and you smile and say, ‘Absolutely. Grown Sexy is very important to me. I have no idea what that means, but it's very important to me.’ ”
Let me tell you something: I abandoned the Bachelor franchise long ago and I have not kept up with Sean and Catherine (though they appear to be still married, so kudos to them), but Grown Sexy remains very important to me.
To me, the phrase conjures up images of a Paris apartment, or a silver tray from room service. To be grown sexy is to be independent, thriving, powerful.
There is a difference between hot and sexy. Hot is overt. Sexy is mystery.
Hot is cleavage. Sexy is a clavicle.
In interiors, Grown Sexy evokes images of a space that someone designed for them. It’s luxe but still comfortable. It’s not too precious.
Grown Sexy is not the British countryside. It’s a loft in Tribeca or Chicago.
But it’s not really about the location so much as it is about the aesthetic — and it’s one that I think is attainable, no matter where you live. These are the things that give “Grown Sexy” to me.
Animal Print
Animal print injects sexy into everything it touches, doesn’t it? A short-sleeved cashmere tee is preppy — but in cow print? Now it’s sexy.
Same goes for a rug — a leopard or jaguar print is neutral enough that it grounds a space, but is so damn sexy, always.
The jaguar-print Schoolhouse x Clare V. rug is very grown sexy but the addition of the little border keeps it playful, too.
And this one, which is from Wayfair! The green is divine.
I rounded up a bunch of animal-print rugs I love here — many are under $400 and some are even machine washable.
I desperately want a larger couch and I’d like to cover it in some sort of cheetah or leopard print. If I could find a baby pink coffee table to go with it, even better.
Folding Screens
Folding screens are sexy because there’s the illusion of mystery — what’s hiding behind there, any way? I love that they can break up a space, too (and they work so well as art or headboards, for what it’s worth).
Wood Paneling
This bedroom — designed by Benjamin Vandiver and featured in the fall issue of Galerie Magazine — features white-oak paneling and it’s so much more feminine than typical wood paneling. I think the details — the mohair bed, the pink florals — offer a nice counterpoint to the wood, which could veer heavy.
And for the record: Mohair is sexy too and it is (IMO) the new bouclé.
Sexy Silverware
You can do Grown Sexy in small doses — even a simple salad can feel chic with the right fork. I am obsessed with my Sabre Paris silverware, which I’ve had for years. Everything feels special with these, even oatmeal!
Lazy Jamie’s spiral silverware is also incredibly sexy.
HOT BUYS
Coco & Eve’s hair masks are exceptional. I use the Pro Bond Hair Mask one once a week and have noticeably less tangly and frizzy hair when I do. CODE: Virginia15 gets you 15% off anything on the site.
Normally I use very fancy skin creams with lots of active ingredients but I am currently recovering from a Morpheus8/C02 laser combo (round two — I’ll complete my three rounds in October). As part of my recovery, I’m using Versed’s new Rich Barrier Cream — it’s under $20, and it’s great. Super moisturizing, dispenses from a pump easily, and keeps my skin hydrated without irritation. All of their products are really good and really affordable.
Currently on my radar are Larroude’s little boat shoes, which are 30% off and have little pom-poms on them! I love this much more fun take on the trend.
I just ordered these Warby Parker aviators and can’t wait for them to arrive. I opted for tortoiseshell frames with the violet gradient lenses.
ME IRL
I have a few fun events coming up. If you’re in Jacksonville, Florida; Eugene, Oregon; or Round Top, Texas, I’d love to see you!
I’ll be at the Jacksonville Home & Patio Show:
Friday, October 3 at 2 PM
Saturday, October 4 at noon
Sunday, October 5 at noon
I’ll be signing copies of Big Thrift Energy (you can buy a copy there if you don’t already have one!) at Junk Gypsy in Round Top, Texas:
Sunday, October 12, 11 AM-1 PM
And I’ll be heading the Lane County Home Improvement Show in Eugene, Oregon with appearances on:
Friday, October 17
Saturday, October 18
Sunday, October 19 (times to come)
Thanks for reading!
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Hi Virginia! Love your substack. One thing to note, though. It's 'grown AND sexy.' You may already know this, but in case you didn't: 'grown and sexy' became widely used in the early aughts as a result of Jay-Z trading in the jerseys, baseball caps and sneakers we'd all been accustomed to seeing him in, for button-ups, cuff links and blazers/sport coats. Other Black music artists - and their audience (myself included) - took note and started showing up at the club and elsewhere looking grown & sexy too. The term applied to decor, vacations, our apartments, homes, spots we frequented, and any other experience or thing we spent our money on. Also note the use of the term in his ad libs in "Excuse Me Miss" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnDh0JhmaFw
I recovered a vintage daybed I found on FB Marketplace in a tiger print that I stumbled upon at a local upholstery shop. I was very nervous before it was finished - it was admittedly a very bold and permanent choice - but I am SO happy with it.